Love is when you love a person with all his or her imperfections
The term "love" has a very deep meaning covering such virtues as patience, ability to forgive and mutual respect. You should have a respect for one another, otherwise there will be no love.
I knew one guy who was a painter, a very charming person. His wife worked in a local administration. She was a kind woman, loving mother and wife. But the man started to drink, cheated on her and behaved outrageously – it happens to painters, you know. The last ten years of his life were very difficult- he broke his neck, suffered from brain cancer and led a vegetable life. His wife quitted working and took care of him; in order to cure him she had to sell the books, dishes and other stuff so that nothing was left at home. You see, this man became a totally different person, it was no longer the one she got married years ago. But often she would look over their old pictures saying, "My other half has left me, how will I live now?" She wouldn’t say, "thank God, there is an end to my suffering!" That’s real love, as I see it!
Love is there if you love a person not because he is handsome, kind, a non-smoker, a non-drinker and rich. Love does not see any imperfections. Take a common situation when one partner is unfaithful. Often another partner knows about it but tries not to show it being just loving and forgiving and making up some excuses such as "ok, that’s his nature, he cannot live without it." This is also love. The most important feature of love is patience and the ability to forgive.
Maybe, love is when you love even shortcomings of your partner. If you take someone for a handsome, bright and talented person, it may not be love yet. But if you happened to love the very imperfections of your beloved then true love is there indeed.
It was my husband who pointed such a thing to me. You see, my temper is not the best in the world - if something goes wrong, I can vent my anger on my relatives. My husband bears it with a smile and later says, "It’s ok. I love you even when you are angry". He can turn a situation in such a way that my bad mood disappears at once and I calm down realizing that I am just being ridiculous.
There is a well-known way to understand if love is there. If you wish a person to be happy then it’s love; but if you want to have this person then it’s passion. Love can be recognized by your ability to limit yourself in certain things, when you live more for the other person and not for yourself, when you want this person to become someone and to gain something, when you care about his health and feelings, about his career… And the other person does the same for you…
Olga Motovilova-Komova, painter
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