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My Wife and i have been together 12 years married for 7. We have 4 children (2 together and she had 2 from a previous
relationship). I have always been a work aholic. Worked 12-16 hrs a day 6 days a week. She was a stay at home mom.
She had her first child when she wass 16. When our youngest went to school full time, she diecided to get a job so we
could have the bigger house and the nicer car. She got a great job, we got the house she wanted etc. With in weeks,
things started to change with her. She worked as a mail person and was done work by 2 every day, but she didnt come
home until 5 - 6 at night. Some times there was booze on her breath and she was high. She was hanging out with the
single crowd at the end of her day and they would drink and get high. I talked to her about this behaviour a couple of
times to no avail. One night she didnt come home. She had an affair. i was leaving the country at this point, i
rushed to see my lawyer and had a separation agreement drawn up. My wife signed it before i left. She stayed with the
kids until i returned. Then she moved out. I had custody of my 2 children and of my 2 step children. That was 2
years ago this past april. With in 6 months of her leaving, she was fired from the post office, her car was
repossessed (i had to pay for it) she was facing criminal charges for theft of mail. She didnt pay a cent of child
support. She has been living with her affair partner and living off of him for a year and a half. She lost her
license and was given house arrest for her sentence. She was allowed to leave only for her visitation with the
children but had to be home by 10 pm. She lives in a town approximately 45 mins away from me and the children. So i
have been picking her up every tuesday and thursday after work and bringing her to my home for her visits and then
driving her home. Everyother weekend i do this friday, sat. and sun. The OM wont drive her or pick her up, she wont
take the kids to his house. When she is at my home, we have a great time, we talk, work on the house, do family
things. She talks about the future like everything is going to be fine. She has no money, so I provide her with
clothes as he wont, i pay for her cell phone as im not allowed to call her on his house phone. Admist all of this, i
was diagnosed with cancer. When i finally had to tell her and ask her for help, she disappeared for 7 weeks. She
wouldnt anser her phone for the kids or come for her visits. I took the kids to her, she said she couldnt deal with my
illness, she didnt know how to face it. after all of this, you would think i could just let it all go, but i cant seem
to find the strength. If i dont drive her, my kids are upset with me and say its my fault for not picking mommy up. I
do love my wife, but i havent been able to let go. She does just enough to keep my on the hook and still interested.
But really, i drive her to her boyfriends house 2x a week and every other weekend. I cant let go, and i dont know how
to find the courage or strength to do it. 

( 3 voices: 3 of 5 )

bubbatank , age: 34 / 22.05.2012

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I feel for you. I am in a similar situation and think about suicide often. I'm pretty drunk and searched "I want to commit suicide". That's how I came to this page. Just know this. You are not the only one going through this stuff. Other people are hurting too. I wish I could somehow make it easier for you but I can't. I just thought it might help you to know that someone else is going through the same thing. There are probably many. Good luck to you. I hope it gets easier and better for ya.

Kevo , age: 43 / 04.06.2012

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