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Hi,
I am an Indian Muslim of age 26 working in a private software firm. I am working for the past 2 years and my family situation is like i have to earn for my family and my dad doesn't have job now. I have mom and 2 brothers.Brothers are only studying in school now.
I loved a girl by first sight attraction during my college days and I never exposed it to her until college's last farewell day and i opened up to her. But she is a non-Muslim and i was 90% sure she wont accept. But i didn't wanted it to keep it in my heart without expressing. so i proposed her.
After that she never contacted me on her decision. Then i tried a lot and got her number and talked to her. She wasn't even ready to listen to me and she plainly rejected me.
Then it took almost a year for me to recover. Then i joined for work and i was slowly getting back to normal.Suddenly she texted me telling sorry for rejecting me 2 years back.
Then i asked her what happened? She said like she also loved another guy and he rejected her and now she knew the pain and so she wanted to apologize for causing me such a pain once upon.
I again started falling for her. cant eat or sleep. Asked her whether she is ready to love me at least now and she rejected.
Then 1 to 1.5 years have passed. I very well knew she is not going to accept me.I just texted her asking how is she? because I knew she was ill because of her stress.
I was eager if she got married or i was wondering whether she would reply me back. But to my astonishment she called me up and started talking like a close friend.
I also spoke to her jovially, made a chance and told her all I did for her in college and i didn't really expect her this time as she was always telling about her boy friend who rejected her years back.
I would feel angry when she talks about that guy, but i kept speaking to her just for a week and suddenly she started telling that she is ready to marry me now.
i was shocked!!!
i cant understand what happened to her in a week and now she is calling and texting me and crying. I am feeling emotionally attached but i am in a mature state now and i cant marry her.
i have told her all religious problems and told like I would have to lose my whole family if I accept for ur proposal now.
I feel like her sudden change is not authentic and if even it is authentic i have crossed my level to think about taking risks for marrying her.
All my friends are blaming me that all this happened because of me and if something happens to her i will hold responsible for that. I also feel so attached and I feel the pain for her as she was my love once. Now i cant accept her and I am feeling painful to tell her not to contact me again.
i have told her all the consequences if we move ahead and reject our parents. She is ok with practical life, but she is not ready to give me up so easily.
Now i am into suicidal thoughts and I am no more living happy life. Praying to God for plain death.
Any help is appreciated!!!

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riy8008 , age: 26 / 04.06.2012



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Comments:

Hi there,
I just read your story and thank you so much for sharing. It's already been a month, and I hope you are doing better.
I can't imagine that pain of loving someone for a really long time without reciprocating.
It's like your wish was finally granted, and you don't want it anymore. But they say, that true love, real true love can
never go unanswered, and perhaps because you cared for her and loved her for so long, she slowly realized that you are there
for her and you will love her. She might be unsure, but she is starting to understand that love like this is hard to come
by.
I am not religious at all, and I only know from my friends' stories how important is religion to their parents, and the
things they have to do and go through to deal with their parent's disapproval and rejection if they love someone who is of a
different religion.
Maybe right now you are still unsure that you finally have your wish, and also for both of you it's a good chance to see if
you care about each other. It's a test for her whether her wish for you and her love for you are real and not just out of
despair that the other guy rejected her. Just stay strong, and pray for your peace of mind. In any case, you are a good
person, and try to follow your heart in this matter. Because you are the one who will be living with the choices you make
for the rest of your life.
Good luck!

cactusfruit , age: 29 / 27.07.2012



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