Tell your story
This is my story, if after reading this you can think of some practical advise please help.
I am 33, separated and in full time employment and a mother of 2 great kids. It was married to my husband for 6 years.
Known him for 7. Soonn after we got married i was pregnant with my first baby. It was an unplanned pregnancy and we
decided to see it through. I have no relatives in this country i made home and just know my husband's in law. She
doesnt seem to like me much as i am from ethnic minority.
We had much difficulties financially post baby birth and to adjust to the lavish lifestyle of my husband. We were soon
in debt. I took charge of the finance and we some how managed to buy a flat. But the flat was on my husband's sole name
which i never thought was an issue.
After 4 years i wanted another child. And my husband was ok with it but not sure at first. After my second child was
born i went to my native on holiday with the kids with the mutual understanding that we will be saving living cost and
also i will get the support i wanted from my family. I separated myself from my friends that my husband doesn't like.
So i travelled to india on a 4 month break without my husband who cannot get a holiday and i was on maternity leave.
After 2 months of me being away, my husband seems to be behaving odd on phone conversations, either too tired to talk
or having an early night.. so we had an argument once over the phone. He said he need a divorce. I was shocked to my
guts to hear that. When told me a month after that he is seeing someone. I changed my ticket and came back in the hope
that i could rescue my marriage. But later found out that he is been having an affair with my neighbour. Its been
really hard going ever since. I was suicidal. My 5 yr old gets panic attack and was behaving strange. My younger child
was fully breastfed and after this stress i stopped making milk and had to switch him to bottle and he was not coping.
All our mutual friends kept distance as they didnt want to pick sides. I had no one to listen to me other without
concluding that its all my fault. I was afraid to be alone, so i kept calling the few ppl who might come around, but
they never helped me with constructive advice or a shoulder to lean on. My husband refuse to have the kids over night.
And he was going out partying with his new girlfriend and i was struggling to pass the seconds. I couldnt afford a
babysitter and he refused to take the kids for a few hours atleast. I was and still am constantly dealing with all this
issues. Sort finance, look after sick kids, demand from younger child as he is 6 months old and attension seeking
attempts from my older son, who feel left out. I am being pulled from all directions.
I have no social life, and was testing everything that could distract my attention and pain. I feel vulnerable and
exposed to my male friends. My husband has now stopped paying the mortguage and we will soon be homeless. I have been
to CAB and council office a million times. As i am working and on average wages no one is willing to tell me if
anything i can have. Work is the only thing that keeps me distracted and i am happy to think and know that my kids r
happy playing with other children and away from the stressful place we call home.
I dont want to quit my job as i want to set a good example for my kids that you work and make a living. And also
because that is my only glim of social life at present. I have never had any time to grieve the end of our marriage.
I donot know any social community local to reading,berkshire that helps with ppl who going through similar issues and i
cant afford an 0845 call to destress or check on advice. I want to talk to ppl. but dont know how where and when. Is
there any hope for me readers??
Thank you for lsitening if you have got this far.
Hermione , age: 33 / 10.02.2013
Sorry to hear all that, and I hope it will get better soon.
Have you considered going back home to India? It seems like it might be a good idea to get support from your family and
friends back home. It might also be easier socially. Or are you determined to stay where you are?
Also, maybe you can find a church to go to? There is usually a lot of social life going on in parishes.
Letika , age: 27 / 10.02.2013
Oh my dear...I know how u feel ...I have had a similar experience ....pray to God ..go to church to make friends ..go to
anything healthy you get invited to to keep busy. You will get through this.you are a beautiful, strong, intelligent,amazing
young woman. You deserve better than this man.God wants better for you...please don't give up...you have to search hard for
answers. I know people are not much help.....my email is Andybuba@ hotmail. Com email me.blessing to you and your beautiful
mumof4 , age: 30 / 21.02.2013
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