«I want to commit suicide»

Who is self-murderer?

If person needs nothing,

it means that something is missed in his brains.

(Popular wisdom)


Self-murdering is a terrible word…. The murder of yourself…

But why do you decide that you have the right to kill (murder) yourself? Did you give a life to yourself? Do you know the highest purpose of your life? Do you think that it occurred accidentally and contains sufferings accidentally as well? Are you sure in it??? What if it is not true? Oh, you do not believe in God? This is sad, but it is your right.

Let us remember the words of Pascal, the great physics, a very religious man: ‘If there is no God, but I will follow commandments, I loose nothing, but only gain. But God exists and I do not follow His commandments, I lose everything’

Even before thinking about such step, you need to think thoroughly about on God’s existence. The cost of the mistake is huge!

In order to understand, you need to read and think a lot.

The though of suicide arises when person thinks that situation is so bad and there are no ways to improve it. In addition, person thinks about earth pleasures only. It is too bad to have lack of pleasures and plenty of sorrows!

Don’t you have any other sorrows? If so, why does not everyone think about suicide? Haven’t your forefathers had fewer sorrows? Why haven’t they do it and gave birth to you? Or your egoism is so strong, that you do not want to think about others? Try to remember people who feel worse than you. Help them!

Tell me, who told you, with the exception of licentious TV popularization of pleasures, that everything should be nice? All religions of the world consider that this world has been created not for the cloudless happiness, but as arena for the fight of the powers. You are wrong, this is not heaven. Heaven is not here. We have been driven out of heaven and now we could enter heaven by lots of efforts.  

33 years old Jesus has been crucified here. He was God, but did he have easy life here? He came not as tsar, but as woodworker, he was born not in the bed, but в in manger. He smelled hell in full. Is it heaven? This is the way this world met even the Son of God!

Do you believe that heaven could have lots of anger, cruelty, abandoned children, diseases and injustice? Does it look as heaven? But if it is heaven, why you should live happy and unclouded here? But here we could contact God. Therefore, it is not hell here. And, as I think, you should not aim to it. It is much worse there…

We live in difficult and fallen world. All our life we spend for struggle against circumstances, our weaknesses and other unpleasant factors. Difficult circumstances, deprivations, sorrows and diseases accompany war…

This is as real military actions with oppose parties, and rate is very high. As any other war, there are whistle of projectiles, crash of guns, sweat and blood, wastes, tears, attacks and retreats, trenches and louses…

Of course, it would be much better to stay not in trenches, but somewhere at the sea beach, to smell the aroma of pine forest, to get power from the great view of the sea, to eat shish kebab, to take after it rough red wine, to lie in the sun, to play volleyball and to fall in love…

But at the same, we are in the war, and war is not a resort. Firstly you need to win this battle and later, with medals got for heroic deeds, you could go to the resort. And there you will have everything: gentle sun, love, happiness, sea, children, shish kebab, wine and sails of yachts. You just need to be patient, to smash the enemy, to feed louses, to shut, to strain. Only after it you will have peace…

These are the words of the Christian religion.

It will not work vice versa firstly to have resort and victory right after it. Where did you see to win cup, and only after to play hockey game? Where did you see to school-leaving party, and later the studying at the university? Where did you hear that retirement comes before work experience? Firstly you need to work and to be patient in order to have the result, which you could celebrate.

Who told you that you are allowed to break the constitution of things?

Business is business. There are enemies as well. They try to convince us that we should not воевать against them. They convince us that war is not war. They convince us to live and that everything is going fine, though we are in trenches. And the processing starts: ‘Take everything from life! Why are you still in the trenches? You deserve more! You are created for the happiness’.

Most of people in trenches come under such agitation. Indeed, they leave front lines, throw the battle and try to sit in rear under the backs of those who fights; they do their best to receive everything which is only possible to get in peacetime. Of course, this is not that resort happiness, but only fragments of it: soft bed, warm dugout and quiet crash of cannonade.

Some go far from the battlefront, another – close to it. But some people mostly are offended by command because front life does not similar with resort. Because of this offence, they run via frontlines to the enemies… These are deserters… They betray because of their cowardice and go to the enemy directly. They go to captivity. They hope to find something better there or at least to feel less scared there. Where do they receive their confidence from? Oh, they are so wrong!

When war will be over, the most brave and patient people, who went via all difficulties, would return home as heroes with orders; some would return without orders but with medals; some without medals. But anyways they will return with victory. They will return home, for long and happy rest… Now the time of resort will come…

What about deserters? They will never return to their motherland, they will not meet relatives and close people. They are betrayers; therefore they are remembered rarely at home. Nobody is interested in their destiny; they separated from their relatives by themselves. They behaved like rats, and now they communicate with rats only. They stay at dirty and dark basements, being slaves of their new owners. They have proper attitude: they are betrayers.


Who is similar to self-murderer?

That’s correct: they similar to deserter, who left the battle disgracefully.

Her is another metaphor…

Man went pick up mushrooms in the wood and saw wolf. He wanted to enjoy nature and here it is such unpleasant surprise, he forgot that sometimes beasts of prey could be met in the wood.

Instead of attempt to escape by running or fight with this wolf, man takes cord from basket, hangs it on branch of a tree, throw loop on neck and ‘hangs’ on this cord.

So, what attitude could you have to such mushroomer? This is so scary and silly! Coward!

Who is similar to self-murderer? This is correct, to such extravagant mushroomer.

* * *

Man came to see training of weightlifting team. He sees that all take huge weights. This is nice! Title-holder of country does and title-holder of Europe does… Wow! And this man decides that he is not worse than they are. So, he thinks, I will show them now! I could beat them! He comes to weight, tries to lift it, but… it is too much for him. He makes efforts, turns red, hernia appears, but he is not able to weight it. He has huge offence for everyone: for the country team, for weightlifting, for weight and for the entire world. Trainer of the team comes to him and explains:

– Dear, why did you decide that you are able to lift it? In order to do it, years of labor, sweat and exercises are required! This is not that easy. And why do you need it?

– I want!!! You can do it and I’m better than you!!! I will lift!! I’m the best!!

He comes to the platform again. All his attempts are without result. This is the last impact for self-respect. It became clear that he is not that strong as he wants to see himself.

What will this person do later? He leaves the platform and … jumps from the window!

So, if he is not able to lift such ill-starred weight and soothe his pride, there is no meaning of life. This is the easiest way. There is no need to train in order this dream to come true. But he could lift this weight in time! He could do it for sure!

* * *

Imagine the following situation.

Your good friend paid for your education in very expensive educational institution.

You thought that it would be very easy there; it would be never-ending joy, beer, girls, films, disco, clubs and later ceremonial graduation. But in reality it appeared that you have to study there. Oh, such sufferings!!! Oh, broken dreams!!! Once you realized it, you returned to your benefactor and throw your student record book to his face: ‘Get alone with you, I don’t need it!’ In addition, you will split at him! He left holding the bag!!!

What could you talk to such thankless person about?

Who is similar to self-murderer? Yes, self-murderer is similar to this thankless dreamer. And who is this benefactor paying for your education? God!!! Do not throw your lift to God, do not split at Him. And in addition, think what attitude will He have towards you? Later you will be able to return nothing back.

* * *

Often people in their pride spell something like this: ‘Why do I need this gift as life? I didn’t ask for it!’ Yes, indeed, you didn’t ask. Gifts are made not by request, but from the bottom of the heart. It is another thing if you accept it as gift!

Here is the person, making gift from the bottom of the heart, comes to a child:

– Please take it and play with it, have fun.

The gift is unpacked… It is toy, small but expensive excavator.

Boy makes a lip… and starts:

– I don’t need this blue excavator! I wanted the yellow one! And I wanted the real one, not toy! And I wanted not yellow, but from gold! And I wanted rocket, not the excavator! And I wanted contents of it from the melon! I saw such by TV!

Convictions on absence of such excavators with melon contents are not accepted. Presented excavator is thrown to the window. Holiday was not successful. Child was not pleased by the gift. Child was too capricious (or may be he slept badly, or may be he was ill, or may be he was not behaved).

Next day:

– Where is my excavator?

– No. You threw it into the window yesterday.

Tears, pity, contrition:

– It was so good!

But there is no more of it… It was thrown... I doubt that person who made a gift, which had been thrown, would come again. Excavator was exclusive and very expensive!

Do not throw away gifts because they do not meet your expectations for this particular moment. Do not throw away the gift, another day will come!

Let Lord save you! 
( 12 voices: 2.75 of 5 )

Michael Khasminski, crisis psychologist

Michael Khasminski, crisis psychologist

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See also
Suicide methods: or How to come off (Peter Rozumni, expert in forensic medicine)
Suicide мethods. Suicide without rose-colored spectacles (Michael Khasminski, crisis psychologist, Peter Rozymni, expert in forensic medicine)
How to die unprettily, or last hi to dears (Michael Khasminski, crisis psychologist)
Don’t dream to have life full of happiness only (Andrey Lorgus, priest )
I just died. The story of suicide (Natasha M., 28 years old)
Low self esteem leads to pathological dependence on other people (Psychologist Irene Rakhimova)
Suicide thought comes from angels of darkness (Serge Nickolaev, archpriest )
Planned suicide (Evelyn, 20 y.o.)
Is man piece of shit? (Helen)
Right for suicide (Dmitri Semenik)

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