«I want to commit suicide»

Right for suicide

One man hereditably from father got a big zoo. He has to manage this complicated business. There were lots of cares and not everything went smoothly. He has to be on a whirl, work hard, but anyways some seasons were unprofitable. Giraffes were often sick; leopards did not want to become impregnated… Once he decided that that’s enough. He does not need it. He wants quite life. He took Tommy gun and methodically killed all animals and burned building.

What do you think about this person? Did he do well, behave correctly when killed all these antelopes, koalas, flamingo and porcupines?

If you think about suicide, you have a lot in common with this man.

You, the same as he, want to manage by what does not belong to you, what was not created by you and what could make happy lots of people for a long period of time.

At our amazing age even the murder of own kids – abortion – is not considered as blameworthy by society. This is her child and therefore she has right to kill him. This is strange that this rule applies only until the moment of birth. After this it is not allowed to kill, but only to refuse the child and leave innocent baby in the orphanage.

But these are only laws of society. The laws of conscience are permanent, but the laws of society go further and further from conscience. That is why there are so many unhappy people. It is not possible to be happy when conscience is uneasy.

Long-ago the views of society were more adequate and close to conscience. The murder of a child was a criminal offence. The attempt of suicide was also punishable. In 19 century according to Russian Penitential book, suicides, with the only exception of cases of madness and when woman committed suicide in order to keep chastity, were punished by committal up to 3 years. Penal servitude up to 8 years was punishment for assistance in suicide. Only communists, the “benefactors” of humanity, in 1922 repealed a law on punishment for suicide attempt and assistance of suicide.

Of course, the business is not in punishments. The freedom to manage our lives is given to us by God. The same with freedom to do good and bad.

The same with man, whom we talked at the very beginning of our conversation, had full right to do everything he wanted with his zoo. But anyways majority of people would say that he behaved badly, toughly and irresponsibly. He behaved like a coward, not as a hero. He did not work to construct this zoo and he did not give birth to animals. He was given the beautiful and alive part of human world, but he destroyed it.

Self-murder is doing the same.

We did not give birth to us, did not feed and did not behave. We are only branches of the tree of our generation. Our forefathers starved, died being young in a war, worked hard, put to harness of plough instead of bullocks in order their children, grandchildren and we. We are not per se. We are responsible for people who lived before us.

The tree is growing to bear fruits. Roots, strong bole and branches are needed the sweet fruits to appear on most think and green branchlets. If branchlet dies, the bole and roots lived for nothing. And everything is to no purpose.

Our forefathers looked at us. They care what is happening to us. For them it is very important what we will do with that has been given to us. If we become good people and decorate the world, it means that part of this award belongs to them. If we leave the black crater after us, it means that shame and disaster fall on them as well.

Good and bad do not submit to the laws of society. It is not possible to cross it by poetical lines.

But there is much higher responsibility; responsibility before One, Who loves us more than mother; Who created us; Who breathed immortal soul to us.

God crated us for eternal blessedness. It is very difficult to realize how big and wonderful this gift is; how measureless this eternal, available to us happiness is; how small we need to do and pass in this temporary life in ordered to get it and how insignificant our current disasters in comparison with coming joy.

And how the soul, having such gift from God, is great! It is said that one human soul values more than all material world, because we similar to God.

But we value our soul too little; therefore it is very difficult for us to imagine and believe in it. During our life we walk all over soul and do not see the light of this priceless God’s creation. Sometimes we do not take care of soul at all.

Yes, we have a possibility to refuse the gift of life, the same as possibility to steal, to kill and to betray.

But suicide is even worse. It is dirtier and mean action. The murder of soul is similar to the murder of mother. Our forefathers, who knew much more about good and bad, buried the murders of mothers at the cemetery, but self-murders – not.

There was a person, though with weaknesses as others, but inside – a wonderful creation. There was a creation able to love, do and make others happy. It was needed only to work a little and be patient.

And he became the stinking piece of meat instead. Not for nothing self-murders were buried far from normal people, because sin profanes even the dead body. Everyone knows how holy relics are fragrant. Lots of people saw multi-meters vertical black strip on the wall of the monastery of St. Panteleimon in the Holy Mt Athos. This strip appeared under the grave on one monk, who had a sin of cupidity. Can you imagine how much the space is profaned near the body of self-murderer, the most terrible crime!

Such infamy, happening with the body, is the weak reflection of what is happening with self-murderer’s soul. You know how unwell you feel. This is hell, its beginning. But it will be much worse there. You will not have freedom of choice. Person has made the most important choice.

We are making this hell by our actions. If we behaved correctly, there was no hell.

Self-murderers (with the exception of mentally ill people) were not allowed of prayer for the dead (because people are not the members of church any more after their refusal to accept gift from God). Lots of priests do not recommend praying for self-murderers even at home, because the contact with soul, that chose Satan and hell, is not safe for supplicants.

My friend! I understand that sometimes it is difficult and painful to live, that you could hardly control yourself and not to scream: ‘I did not ask you to give birth to me!’, it is difficult to believe that life is not a burden, but a wonderful gift.

But please be patient. Do not kill; keep that gift that you got free of charge, the gift of human soul. Please remove mud from it and look carefully.

And one day you will understand that you are lucky, that you are HUMAN BEING!

( 12 voices: 2.75 of 5 )

Dmitri Semenik

Dmitri Semenik

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See also
Suicide methods: or How to come off (Peter Rozumni, expert in forensic medicine)
Suicide мethods. Suicide without rose-colored spectacles (Michael Khasminski, crisis psychologist, Peter Rozymni, expert in forensic medicine)
How to die unprettily, or last hi to dears (Michael Khasminski, crisis psychologist)
Low self esteem leads to pathological dependence on other people (Psychologist Irene Rakhimova)
Don’t dream to have life full of happiness only (Andrey Lorgus, priest )
Who is self-murderer? (Michael Khasminski, crisis psychologist)
Suicide thought comes from angels of darkness (Serge Nickolaev, archpriest )
I just died. The story of suicide (Natasha M., 28 years old)
Planned suicide (Evelyn, 20 y.o.)
Is man piece of shit? (Helen)

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