Once in true love we cannot stop loving
If your dearest one left you it doesn’t mean he or she stopped loving you. Here we have a change of relationships and not a change in the heart. It is quite possible that love for you is still there.
And what’s more, I do believe it’s impossible for a person to stop loving, a human heart just was not made that way.
However, the feeling of love changes and so do people’s relations. Thank God for this because the very development of human personality and his spiritual life imply such changes in relationship. Once kids, we become adults and then grow older so everything takes its normal course, and this is a natural state of things.
But I don’t much believe that love can disappear from the heart. I think that once in true love we cannot stop loving.
They say, we can love only once in a lifetime. It’s not true. Our heart is capable of getting a great number of loves but in a highest sense Love is inseparable. This is Godlike quality of any human being and it can be addressed to more than one person. Your mother, father, husband, wife, children…Love has no limits.
When you say “my beloved has left me”, mind that it was not love he left, he left you. It means there was something in your relations that was much more painful than the emotional experience of breaking-up. So, it’s not an issue of love but an issue of relations. Perhaps there was something in your relations that scared or alienated your partner, something the person couldn’t accept.
Say, it could be the feeling you were trying to limit his/her freedom, to bend to your will, forcing your partner to live under your rules. Often a woman or a girl fears that a spouse might override her and thus her personality might be damaged, “put on a back burner” and such thoughts cause alarm. Not every woman is ready to dissolve herself into a man’s individuality and become his reflection. But then, there is no need for that.
Another possibility – a girl might get scared of her own feelings. Maybe she is afraid to discover something unusual, daunting within herself. Sometimes a woman doesn’t allow herself to be happy, it often happens when her mother in turn had an unhappy relationship in her marriage. The very idea of happiness frightens such a woman and she may leave the man that could make her happy.
The third possible option – a woman can leave because she is afraid to become a nurse, an elder sister, a mummy for her husband. Perhaps she was looking for a patron, a strong man but found out you were just a boy in need of help and care. And vice versa: she was instinctively seeking a father as women often do but found a mature man who wanted her to be a mature woman. In this case she failed to realize that being a woman was much more joyful than being “a teenager”.
It’s hard to foresee all the situations as each person is unique. After all, you should find a constructive point in all those events that happened for it might be a way to find your true inwardness. All these sufferings may help a man to reveal an extraordinary genius within himself. Alternatively, they may lead him to the Lord. Maybe for a woman who left you her love was an “untrue love” (could be just pity, romantic infatuation or compassion). On the other hand, maybe you never felt true love but were lost in romantic reverie. At the same time, all that may have been true. So, it is only you who will have to find out the sense of what happened…
Priest Andrew Lorgus
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